The wandering Doctorate journey at CGI.
In the Fall of 2025, I made one of the craziest decisions: to start a doctoral-level degree in Integrated Behavioral Health at the Cummings Graduate Institute, a relatively short 3-5 year program. Initially, I had planned to complete an 11-month ABABA certificate program at Purdue University, but a friend in the program convinced me to pursue a PhD in behavioral health. Was it the right decision, or did I make myself vulnerable to another academic madness? Honestly, I do not know the correct answer to these questions, but I am looking forward to the end result. The reason for this statement is that I have been out of school since 2018, when I obtained my MSW, which is about 8 years ago. I am now a licensed mental health clinician, working as a Social Worker with chronically ill patients at an end-stage renal dialysis clinic, providing social services and brief counseling for depression and other mental health issues. I have not fully immersed myself in the program yet, but I am adapting to the course load and the cognitive challenges it entails. Sharing this personal journey helps illustrate the real-life challenges and resilience involved in mental health growth, making the abstract concepts more relatable and inspiring for my readers.
First stressful week of school but determined
In the first week of the program, I realized it was one of the most stressful times of my life, not because I could not manage the course load or because it was a sign of weakness, but because I was overwhelmed, confused, and afraid of the unknown. Later, I understood it as a predictable response to my cognitive overload of family issues, work-related problems, identity shift, academic performance, and life expectation in general, all came crashing down on me like a 10 thousand lakes raging like beasts to strike fear in me. It was then that I concluded that sometimes in life, “It is okay not to be okay”, when a sense of support, reassurance, and safety from my wife and children gave me the hope that I can make it, thereby reducing the mental instability, tension, and fear I felt roaring down my spine.
The reality of mental health struggles
The reality of mental health struggles is real. I have seen old and young at my job battle this invisible hand that only whispers in the head that you are not “okay” or “good for nothing”, thrusting its victim with demonized thoughts until they finally gave in with self-destructive behavior—but understanding and accepting the notion that “it is okay not to be okay” where vulnerability is not a weakness, but strength; a strength that emphasizes that vulnerability is just the ability to be emotionally open and embrace the possibility of potential personal growth, healing, and mental well-being, has elevated my spirit to an all new level. I was vulnerable on all levels, but I kept telling myself, “It is okay not to be okay” each time the DBH program exposed me to emotional breakdown or mental decline. I always tried to create a space of authenticity and reality check, in which I emotionally regulate, discover, and trust myself, while genuinely connecting to others, so I can bridge the emotional and physical pain I continue to endure in a managing manner.
In the letter to myself, I explained that I want to build a model that is patient-centered and embraces collaboration, openness, and responsiveness. I have recognized that managing my own mental health is essential to my personal growth and organizational empowerment, so giving up is not an option. Obtaining this degree will empower others, foster their confidence, and give them the collective strength to make a difference among patients and colleagues.
What actually is this integrated behavioral health in our contemporary healthcare system?
I first heard of the term “Integrated Behavioral Health and the Biodyne Model” while researching the Cummings Graduate Institute during my application process, both of which are pillars of healthcare delivery in our contemporary medical setting. In our modern healthcare system, where healthcare delivery is multifaceted and holistically integrates medical science, technology-enabled care, behavioral health, social factors, and patient-centered care to improve access, equity, outcomes, and satisfaction, the integrated behavioral health model carefully blends medical and behavioral services in a single setting. This approach not only enhances access and outcomes but also reduces stigma and costs, directly benefiting both patients and healthcare providers by creating a more efficient, compassionate system. This demonstrates how innovative models can foster a more hopeful future for healthcare delivery.
Role of the Doctor of Behavioral Health in the healthcare setting
Incorporating a doctoral-level behavioral health professional, who prepares leaders and expert clinicians to bridge the gap between mental and physical healthcare by providing specialized assessment, intervention, and consultation, is vitally important at every level of the medical spectrum. It was only recently that our modern healthcare system began to recognize the importance and roles of DBH professionals in integrated healthcare, following the introduction of the electronic medical record. No wonder the Doctor of Behavioral Health has gained so much attention in a relatively short period of time.
Key impacts of a doctor of behavioral health on society
The impact of a trained behavioral health professional is to deliver patient-centered, whole-person healthcare, recognizing that mental and physical health are interconnected, thereby moving beyond traditional bit-and-pieces care systems where patients are expected to manage their separate appointments and record their physical and mental health needs. The presence of a doctor of behavioral health professional at a healthcare facility, like in the case of my job, will definitely improve the clinical outcomes for conditions such as depression, anxiety, and physical pain of a patient. In contrast, health costs will be significantly reduced because patients’ health needs are met within a single healthcare setting rather than in multiple healthcare facilities.
Treating the whole person and not just the presenting illness
Nowadays, treating a medical condition or disease does not focus solely on the person and the presenting illness; it involves treating the whole person, including the mind, feelings, and emotions, because these conditions cannot be separated from how the body heals, remains sick, or dies early. The doctoral-level behavioral health professional’s contributions to comprehensive care include applying advanced clinical knowledge, expertise, and skills, as well as leadership roles and ideas for system change that translate abstract concepts into recognizable, concrete quality care, access, and outcomes.
Stepping into healthcare as a doctor of integrated behavioral health
Stepping into the field as a doctor of integrated behavioral health brings me so much joy and satisfaction, despite being a wandering doctor who is okay but not okay. I feel the wholeness of myself being complete, but still building on the shattered, disguised confidence under my skin. I am on the path to healing, practicing self-compassion and kindness in tangible ways, such as speaking kindly to myself, setting realistic goals, and allowing space for mistakes while improving on them to develop the profession I aspired to.
Fighting the wandering fight
As I wander here at CGI, trying to grasp the academic purpose of my journey, still a bit confused about my decision to pursue a doctoral-level degree, this tiny voice keeps whispering that “it is okay not to be okay”, a voice of encouragement not to give up but keep on fighting the wandering fight. I look forward to achieving the goals I envision as an integrated behavioral health professional. The phrase “It is okay not to be okay” will serve as a reminder that vulnerability does not always mean weakness, but rather as a catalyst for emotional strength, helping me foster a culture of openness and collaboration for a safe workplace.
SiLou Health
https://www.bornouniforms.com/
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